If we really want to help people regardless of our credentials whether as a psychologist, counselor, life coach, doctor or friend we will need to as much as possible embody the following (we are using the word subject in the place of the words patient or client):
1. Care for the other and sincerely desire to help him or her. The subject will feel if we really care or not.
2. Accept whatever we hear and have an open mind. We must be able to hear that the other has murdered someone without judging him. The degree to which the other can open himself is dependent on how accepting he perceives us.
3. See what others call evil as weakness and ignorance and fear rather than as evil. Ignorance and misinterpretation of our true nature leads to a wide variety of ego-centered and often destructive behaviors.
4. Study and understand the functioning of the mind by observing ourselves and others and by studying what already has been discovered by the sciences of psychology, sociology, philosophy and religion.
5. Keep clearly in mind that our work is to reconnect him/her with inner strength and guidance, not make him/her dependent on us.
6. Be open to the unique ways in which each individual grows and heals himself. Do not be so caught up in systems or labels or specific procedures or in what you know, so that you cannot respond to this unique individual in his/her own specific way.
7. Employ only the techniques that you yourself have experienced a number of times. Only then can you really understand this technique and know when to use it and how to handle any crises which may be provoked by it.
8. Practice what you teach. Although this role does not allow us to teach, we occasionally do so through our behavior or attitudes, or by making suggestions or expressing perceptions or life philosophies. We, ourselves should live these ideals that we are expressing.
9. Be simple, honest, humble and admit when you do not know the answer, or feel confused or cannot help.
10. Be ready to give time and energy even without payment when necessary. Supporting another human being who is in need is not a product to be sold.
11. Learn to be sensitive as to when to push the subject towards discovering or breaking through and when to give him space to prepare himself/herself, or live in his/her illusory security. This sensitivity must also be learned in relationship to our own personal process.
12. Keep up your own evolutionary self-knowledge process in ways which suit you.
13. Become very proficient in active listening as this is the backbone of this whole system.
14. Know all the techniques well, or do not use them.
15. Refer the client to others when you cannot help, either because you do not have enough time to help properly, or you cannot be objective with this person, or when the problem is beyond your ability to help.
16. Never interfere in the persons private life, suggesting that he/she should get divorced or leave his/her family or get an abortion. Just support him/her in choosing from his/her own options, without projecting your own needs or feelings.
17. Keep total confidentiality - secrecy concerning whatever others share with you.
18. Those who are spiritually oriented may want to pray for guidance in every word and action, so that our every move shall be for the others benefit and not for our affirmation or security.
Perhaps you would like to add other prerequisites that come to your mind and send them to us.
Robert E. Najemy, author of 25 books and life coach with 30 years of experience, has trained over 300 life coaches and now does so over the Internet. Become a life coach. Over 600 free article and lectures at www.HolisticHarmony.com/
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