From Fear and Paralysis to Positive Action

By Sandra Sinclair

When you feel paralyzed about taking action toward a desired goal, fear of failure could be a possible reason. Fear of failure can be a huge obstacle to taking positive action toward your desired outcomes, because so much personal esteem and happiness can depend on the outcome. After all, attempting something important to you, only to fail at accomplishing it, can potentially make you feel less than capable or deserving, or even crushed at the outcome. So in order to prevent this from happening, its often easier to just never try at all.

If trying and not reaching your desired goal would feel terrible, then dreaming about it and not taking action can feel far more comfortable. That way, you can dream about what you want and then create reasons for inaction to make yourself feel better about never trying to reach your goal. You may even convince yourself that you could do it, but rather than risk failure, you can just dream, and stay safe. This is a natural, self-protective mechanism. Your mind is truly brilliant, and knows how to protect you from getting hurt.

To change fear of failure into a force for positive action, you may have to change your thinking about what your desired outcome means to you in terms of your own happiness. This may surprise you, because what Im suggesting is quite different from what we usually hear. Were usually told something like: If you dont want it enough, youll never get there, Nothing easy is worth having etc. Or even the much more seemingly innocuous What would make you happy? The overall message is that if its worth having, its going to involve a lot of pain and struggle, but to achieve happiness, you must achieve this outcome.

However, if your very happiness is riding on the success or failure of this venture, you can literally block yourself from trying, because so much is riding on the result.

So at this point, you can ask yourself these questions:

How much do I need to achieve this outcome in order to be happy?

If I was still able to desire my goal without actually needing it in order to be happy, what would happen? In other words, can I accept reaching or not reaching my desired outcome and still be happy?

What would happen if I chose to be happy right now?

You may say that having this attitude of happiness now could cause you to lose motivation for your goal, your purpose, or motivation for anything, for that matter, but I have another proposal for you: What if actually being happy right now, whether or not you accomplish your desired outcome, actually made you more powerful in reaching it? You may find that wanting a goal without attachment to the outcome can change paralysis into positive, inspired action.

Does this attitude change guarantee that youll reach your goal? No, you may not reach your desired outcome, even with this attitude. However, youre probably much more likely to achieve what you want through happiness and ease than through efforting and struggling against fear of failure and paralysis.

You may also say that its not that simple to just decide to be happy that its not the way the world works. But the truth is that happiness is a decision, just as unhappiness is a decision. It can be as simple or as complicated as you want it to be. Its a decision thats independent of your past experience, and of others actions and opinions, unless you wish it so. No one can tell you what to believe or think. Any beliefs that were handed to you early on about the way the world works, what youre supposed to feel or what youre capable of are only truthful if you decide that they are.

You decide your own truth, every moment.

Sandra Sinclair

Sandra Sinclair is a personal development coach and author of The Happy Path Mini-Course- 5 clear steps you can take to create your ideal life, a free mini-course, at: http://www.thehappypath.com/

Practice Self Talk and Postive Affirmation Statements in Your Life

Positive self-talk means purposely giving yourself positive reinforcement, motivation, and recognition- just as you would do for a friend. Congratulate yourself when you do well, and remind yourself of your abilities, accomplishments, strengths and skills. Keep a to-do list, check off accomplishments, and review your progress periodically.

Make self-talk work for you. When you habitually say to yourself has a very profound impact on your self-image, your self-esteem, and your performance as well as eventual success. Remember that your subconscious triggers physiological responses to match the pictures and thoughts that you have of yourself to make them happens. Make this work for you by keeping your self-talk positive.

For example say to yourself either I did a good job on that changing a friends oil even though I took a quart and for myself or I did a good job of not paying a good friend the cost of supplies for the efforts he did for me .

Stop negative self-talk. You may well be quick to nag yourself because your mother wanted you to more than perfect. However, negative self talk can be damaging because your subconscious believes what you say to your when you repeat that negative talk in your mind over and over. How is your subconscious to know otherwise? If you catch yourself using negative self-talk, stop and rephrase. Eliminate the negative words. Focus instead on the best course you can take and do it.

Make positive communications a habit. Focus on the positive in goal statements, self-talk, and all communications. Compare the following phrases, and notice how the positive words convey confidence, commitment, and enthusiasm.

For example instead of I will try substitute the phrase I will . Instead of saying to you I should do insert the phrase I will do . Try saying I want to or I choose to instead of the more common I must .

Focus with affirmation statements. Affirmative statements are positive self-statements or reminders to help you achieve goals. They are positive messages with a punch mental bumper stickers of sorts to motivate your subconscious mind to work for you.

Here are guidelines to help you to use the powerful tool of affirmative statements as vital mental reminder technique.

1) Make the statements personal to yourself. Not arbitrary or generic. Use the phrase I , your own name , or you

2) Keep affirmations short. How can you use the affirmations if you cannot remember them?

3) Phrase your affirmations positively. The mind accepts as truth the words that you give it. Use positive words only as affirmations. Leave out any negative words. For example say I will not be nervous during my interview with the warden . Rather say I will be calm and self-assured during my interview

4) Include a positive emotion. A phrase that triggers a positive emotion strengthens the affirmation. For example My goals are valuable and it excites me.

5) Phrase affirmations as fact. Phrase a goal as though it is happening even if you have not achieved it yet. Your subconscious believes mental messages and works to make them a reality.

6) Say your affirmation at least 6 times a day. Repetition is life. Repetition enhances self-confidence, acts as a reminder, and stimulates your subconscious to help you achieve your goals in life.

It cannot be overstated the impact that positive self talk and affirmative statements can help you towards the vital goals that you have identified in your life. Remember that without goals even if you work hard you are like a ship without a rudder.

These powerful tools of positive self talk and positive affirmations can more than help speed you along to your chosen goals.

Bill Piker old dog!'s Blog blog.360.yahoo.com/blog/slideshow.html?p=3id=ROjOVC8wIv9KijBAErka www.aceemploymentservices.net

The Best Learning Tool

Copyright 2006 Donovan Baldwin

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -- Thomas A. Edison

What do these people have in common? Walt Disney, Winston Churchill, Thomas Edison, Abraham Lincoln, Joanne Rowling (Author of the Harry Potter books), just to name a few.

Well, I'll give you a hint. You might say they all attended the same school. Took some of the same courses, in a manner of speaking.

Every one of them is famous today, and is considered to be the model of a successful person. However, at times in their lives, and not just during the early years, they had pretty much either failed, or had not achieved anything of note in their lives.

They all attended, in one form or another, the school of hard knocks. But, they learned in that school, and they eventually accumulated enough knowledge, enough common sense, enough experience, enough guts, maybe, to rise to a point where their names have been recorded as a part of history.

Oh sure, circumstance played a part. Had not World War II happened along, Winston Churchill would have remained a has-been rather than becoming one of the world's most famous statesmen. Had Abraham Lincoln caught a fatal disease in his youth, we would never have known his name, and how much of our world would be different?

We have to look at our lives and our circumstances in this light. I AM here now, and I CAN make various choices. One of the choices is to do nothing. One of the choices, however is to take a stand, give it the old college try, go out swinging...pick your literary cliche.

In the world of network marketing and internet marketing, those with experience and "success" can almost to a person tell story after story of failure, embarassment, defeat, rejection, and depression. I've never met a person yet who joined a program and was making appreciable amounts of money in just a few days. I've HEARD about such things, and I am sure that there are a few who have either had the skill or luck to create a huge network business practically overnight. However, it doesn't happen to most of us.

What DOES happen to most of those who sign up for a network marketing program is that while we AREN'T experiencing overnight success, we DO experience failure, embarassment, defeat, rejection, and depression, not to mention other "...slings and arrows of outrageous fortune." This combination of negative pressures without any offsetting positives (I'm talking about income) in the early stages of a network or internet business causes most of the so-called "failures" and drop-outs in the networking world.

The sad part is that most of these people do not truly become "failures" until they actually give up. Yes, some will never be successful, but that is true about anything from brain surgery to law to flipping burgers. Some people are just not going to be good at certain things. Some people are going to be in the wrong place at the wrong time almost every time, but that does not mean that they are failures or should be branded as such by themselves or by anyone else.

Temporary failure, if we can see it that way, is not just a course in the school of hard knocks, it is a coach. Just as a coach may pit a boxer, wrestler, or entire team against a tougher opponent in hopes of teaching them to overcome such opponents, failure gives us the opportunity to learn new skills and to unlearn old, useless skills. Those who continue to grow through this process are the ones who will eventually be labeled "successful".

It is necessary to see the obstacles that a new marketer faces as training experiences, not as an insurmountable or immoveable objects.

The sad part is that so many people recruiting for network marketing programs go out of their way to play up the potential gains of the business while failing to prepare the new player for the difficulties of the game. Many of us who have achieved varying degrees of success in network marketing or internet marketing can tell many of the same stories. We tried all kinds of programs, methods, and techniques. We bought, or bought into, all kinds of books, programs, software, and miscellaneous mumbo-jumbo. We did it because we were ignorant, and perhaps a little greedy, but eventually we learned, and eventually we succeeded.

I now make a living off the internet, the mystical target, the six-figure-income. However, beside me is a bookcase full of books, on top of my work station are all kinds of software, loaded onto my computer are many programs, tucked into nooks and crannies around the room are folders full of papers. Among all of these are many things that I use to promote and grow my business, but, to tell the truth, I could probably dispose of ninety percent of it and never miss it. I have spent so much time following the wrong paths, and so much money (my term is "accidental tuition") buying things that did little or nothing for me. And yet, I cannot truly regret all that because I never gave up the idea that some day I would succeed, and each "failure" just was another lesson learned. Eventually, all those lessons reached the point where one day my wife looked at me and said, "You know all those ads you use to read to me about making a six-figure-income?"

I replied, "Yes. What about it?"

She said, "You are."

I had graduated from the school of hard knocks, at least for the time being, but I did not grauate because I was brilliant. I graduated because I didn't give up.

Wow! Me and Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln.....! Okay, I'll shut up now, but I started with a quote and I'll end with one.

"The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do." -- Walter Bagehot

Donovan Baldwin is a Dallas area writer and internet entrepreneur. A graduate of the University of West Florida, Pensacola, and a member of Mensa, he creates website content for his own use and that of other webmasters. He offers home based internet business opportunities at www.donovanbaldwin.com/

Hopes Dreams: A Critical Ingredient In The Lives Of Caregivers And Their Loved

Its human nature to hang onto two basic hopes the hope of overcoming illness and the hope of delaying death. However, in many cases the reality is that your loved one faces a steady medical decline, a life-threatening illness or impending death.

Hope is like the vase that contains your sweet-smelling colorful dreams. Dreams, like flowers, change over the seasons of life and the stages of caregiving. Yet, no matter how desperate the situation, there is always room for hope and dreams. It is the magical salve for the suffering of caregivers and their loved ones.

Hope is the optimistic belief that you can expect a better tomorrow.

Sometimes that better tomorrow happens as a result of something that changes in the outside world such as a new drug or unexpected help. Sometimes the better tomorrow arrives because you see things from a new perspective. Hopes and dreams become the guiding light for the tough choices that you and your loved ones face.

Here are 7 tips for hanging onto hope:

1. Give a voice to your secret longings, wishes and dreams.

If you had a magic wand, what would you wish for? Maybe its turning back the sands of time and taking away the car keys from your father instead of sitting at his hospital bedside where he is recovering from the car accident he caused. Maybe its imagining that youll turn on the news and learn of a new miracle cure for the cancer thats taking over your mothers body or for the dementia thats erasing your grandmothers memories. Hope might be something simple like a good nights sleep for you and your loved one. Say it out loud, We could use a good nights sleep.

2. Define the reality.

In the course of taking care of tens of thousands of patients, Ive seen miracles happen. However, most people experience likely events. Grasp an understanding of your current reality based on whats most likely to happen naturally.

When you define the most likely outcome, it helps you decide where to place your hopes. For example, a friend of mine who is a family doctor told me of a conversation between him and a loving mother whose 6-year-old child had a relapse of leukemia after a bone marrow transplant. There was an experimental treatment offered halfway across the country. The mother wanted to know where to take her child: to a new hospital across the country for lots of pokeys as her son called them, or Disneyland to enjoy the final days of his life. Does she hope for a cure, or for the fullest remaining days of her childs life?

3. Recognize your loved ones hopes may be different than your own.

The mother of the 6-year-old made the medical choices for her son. What if the person with the leukemia is your father, who is competent to make his own medical choices? Maybe you cannot bear the thought of losing him and hope that a new treatment will cure him. Maybe your father shares that perspective. However, what if he considers experimental treatment with certain discomfort and an uncertain benefit and decides he would rather live out his days enjoying his grandchildren?

You may find it difficult to support him. You do not want to burden your loved onea with your disappointment that he has placed hope in a different place than you would if you were in his shoes. Thats when you turn to a trusted friend and say, I wish Dad would make a different choice. I want him to fight. Im sad and angry that hes chosen death.

4. Honor your loved ones hopes.

As a caregiver, its important to understand that your loved one is the patient. Its his or her body and life. As much as you think you know what the best choice is, your job is to help your loved ones realize their hopes.

5. Mourn the loss of the old dream.

Gretta said, Mom had always hoped to live all of her days in her home filled with the memories of Dad and small children and happy holidays...and not so happy holidays. It just wasnt safe any more. We moved her to a terrific retirement community that has everything she wants, including a beautiful garden. Still, shes sad because its not what she had always imagined.

You too could have a dream of a healthy and independent loved one thats hard to let go of. The loss of a dream can be as painful as the loss of a loved one. Mourning the loss of a dream brings healing.

6. Create a new dream.

You can still have hopes and dreams! Theyre just different. Maybe the hope for cure is replaced with the hope for days or hours or moments free of pain. Maybe its the dream that your fragmented family will come together and heal old wounds around the deathbed.

State your dreams as attaining something you want rather than avoiding something you dont want. As medical conditions change, its important that you and your loved one revisit the dream. If youre disappointed about the course of events, ask, Is this the loss of a dream, or a hope I can fulfill?

7. Focus on your loved one.

Always remember, caregiving is first and foremost about supporting the person you love. Yes, you as a caregiver have hopes and dreams. Maybe the heart of caregiving is the willingness to fulfill the hopes and dreams the vase filled with brilliant blooms of those for whom you care whether or not you hold the same vision.

Follow these tips, and you will be sure to hold onto your hopes and dreams. Remember, no matter how desperate the situation, there is still hope for the dream. The dream will change as the condition of your loved one change. Just like theres always a flower to put in a vase -- theres always hope.

Dr.Vicki,board-certified surgeon who left operating room to help families take the most direct path from illness to optimal health.Her book,The Personal Health Journal,will help you understand direct your loved ones health story. Empower yourself with the tips tools that will help you partner with their doctor more effectively; save your loved ones life at: www.drvicki.org/drvicki-store-health-journal.html

MP3 Players: Why You Should Buy One

AN MP3 player will be relatively small price to pay for your grand victory behind a poker table and I do not mean that as a joke. Studies conducted over past years have proved direct connection between player's performance during the poker game and the type of music these players listened to while playing it online or at live casinos.

What can we say about poker game? This game is full with emotions as well as strategic moves and considering the number of books written on that theme, I can assure you that poker game is here to stay for a very long time. Students, college professors, professional players and simply lucky gamblers want to discover the naked truth behind the game, and frankly, we are slowly getting closer to the answer. If that is the case, then music will be the first phenomenal aspect of poker gaming around the world to receive high media hype because music can touch people's souls.

The greatest artists who ever lived on the planet can tell you that music has great impact on human brain, almost hypnotic, if I may. For instance, it can help sick people to get well, encourage children to overcome their fears, program individual success in terms of relationship or accomplish positive thinking, which is a clear psychological mark. What seems very natural to us is not a coincidence, but rather a solid theory based on years of profound research - music can program person's mood and shift it one way or the other like talented magician can make the girl appear or disappear on his command. But since we do not live in the circus, that theory must prove itself in real life.

We must see the influence of music in order to believe in it, but here comes the question skeptics would definitely ask: how can we see or recognize something unobservable, especially when it happens online or in a land based casino? I give ten percent to every skeptical question because not even one theory can be one hundred percent reliable, what leaves us with ninety percent assurance. Before I continue our discussion, I suggest you to try the following exercise: listen to your favorite song and try to think about something, the very first thing that comes into your mind. After you done that, play something that you normally dislike or turn off your TV when you hear this composition and do the thinking exercise again. I bet in the first case you thought about something nice like hot chocolate in the cold winter or your loved ones as oppose to the second time when you felt some unexplained disturbance and irritation.

The secret is very simple my friend: some type of music can bring happy emotions while other rhythms awake negative feelings. Your poker game will be directly influenced by your emotional state and result in explicit consequences. Are you ready to buy that MP3 player now and fill it with winning melodies? Before you pay your next visit to online poker room or land based casino, I suggest investing a few bucks into that little magical device, because it will take your poker game to the new levels. If peaceful melodies suggest higher level of concentration in poker room and help to prevent external disruptions, then beats loaded with negative energies will motivate aggressive behavior and players should avoid that at any cause.

Jack Reider edits reviews of online casinos , poker rooms and flash casinos but he also edits a musical theme site.

How To Get Into The Zone

Alan C. Walters, an author and motivational expert, has often been "in the zone." He calls it the Golden Magic Zone.

In his book, The Secrets to Increasing Your Wealth, Power, and Happiness, he describes one of his remarkable experiences.

Once I wanted to purchase an airplane, a turbo-charged Beech Bonanza, that cost $38,000; I had $3,000.

I circled the advertisement in red ink and thought, "How am I going to turn this $3,000 into $38,000?"

An idea flashed to mind: Play Blackjack!

It was a Sunday morning. I got into my car and drove 280 miles to John Ascuga's Nugget in Sparks, Nevada, a suburb of Reno.

I sat down with two other people at a table that had a $400 a hand limit. I cashed my $3,000 for chips and bet $400 on two positions.

I played for twenty minutes and bought cards three times by double downing an ace, two, and received an eight each time.

I hit blackjack twenty-three times in twenty minutes; I had a huge pile of chips. The first time I lost a hand, I quit.

Picking up my chips and taking them to the cashier, I found I had won $58,000; I had $46,000 after taxes.

I purchased the Bonanza for $34,000, cash.

On my first flight, I blew the engine over Aurora, Oregon. Looking down, I saw a small airport. It had no radio, so I landed with great billows of black smoke pouring from the engine. I didn't know where I was, and the airport was surrounded by trees and hedges.

With several taxiways disappearing into the trees, something made me choose a taxiway toward the south end of the field.

As I taxied between those trees, I saw an old, broken-down shed. I stopped the plane in front of the shed, climbed out and walked through the front door. There I saw an elderly man putting away tools.

"Is there anyone at this airport who really understands turbo-Bonanzas?" I asked.

The man smiled. "Well," he drawled. "Up until last week, I was the foreman and head mechanic of Bonanza West, over at Portland Airport."

Amazing! (I was in the right place at the right time).

I had him replace the engine and do a complete overhaul of the plane. It cost $12,400, the exact amount I had left from my winnings. I flew that plane for ten years and never had another problem.

What are the factors that create this unique experience?

Dr. Perry Mitchell, a psychologist and public speaker, has identified some critical elements that can help anyone step into the zone.

Since what you focus on expands, you get into the zone when you naturally capitalize on your strengths and get over your mistakes quickly.

If you enjoy what you do, you will effortlessly create a momentum that can carry you into the zone, a state where you are focused, relaxed, and self-trusting.

People rarely enter the zone because they completely believe in two myths about success.

One is that to do well you have to work hard. The result of this, of course, is that since you want to do well to succeed, you believe that working harder and harder will get you closer and closer to your goal. What it does, however, is increase pressure, anxiety, and fear. Instead of doing better, you actually do worse as you fatigue and tense up.

Another myth is that pain is good. It has been particularly popularized in sports with the slogan, "no pain, no gain." Again, increasing pain results in a state of exhaustion and the cessation of effort toward your goal.

These myths are so ingrained in the collective unconsciousness that most people operate on them without even noticing them. They feel that they are not making progress unless they feel a sense of strain and effort. And they doubt if something can be good for them if it doesn't cause discomfort.

What keeps these two myths operating is what Dr. Mitchell calls the "Critical Advisor." In Freudian terms, this would be the Super-Ego. It is an ego state that is omnipresent and works on you by making you doubt anything and everything, especially your own self-worth. It is your inner map of how you should be and persistently criticizes you for not measuring up. It considers negative motivation to be necessary for your success.

To get into the zone, you have to shut off the Critical Advisor and get into the "Hands Free Zone." This term is based on an analogy. When you are riding a bicycle without holding the handlebars, you're in the "hands free zone."

When you are in the Hands Free Zone you are soaring. When you are in it, you are focused, but in a relaxed way, like a karate expert, who is both alert and relaxed enough to strike quickly at an opponent. However, once you start to notice that you are focused,
the Critical Advisor leaps in and puts you down, thus cutting off the evenly flowing psychic energy that was putting you in the zone.

The Critical Advisor has a contest mentality and a critical mentality. The contest mentality is polarity. An evaluation of whether you are good or bad, performing well or poorly. The critical mentality is the belief that you are not good enough to do it well, not worthy of accomplishment. It constantly looks at results.

Thus, the Critical Advisor operates on a polarity paradigm and a results paradigm. Since its job is to criticize you in the belief that this will steer you in the right direction (negative motivation), it cuts off any flow or zone states. You are so focused on not making a mistake that you manifest mistakes. By trying not to miss the ball flying at you, you fumble and let it slip through your fingers. By trying not to hit the lake as you make your golf swing, you send it straight into it .

The way to avoid "choking" is to turn the Critical Advisor off. You do this by being willing to consider multiple options. And you do this by focusing on the process, not the results.

If there are more than two options, then the polarity of right and wrong lose their grip on you. Similarly, if you're still in process, you can't judge results.

Doing it right is relevant to the Critical Advisor. But to the person in flow, doing it is all that matters. When you are just doing it, not worrying about whether you are good or bad at it, not concerned about results, then you are in the zone.

In the zone, you surge (enter the Hands Free Zone), recover (from the Critical Advisor), and surge again (back in the Hands Free Zone).

In relationship to time, the Critical Advisor seeks to either dominate the past or the future.
In reviewing the past, it stirs the emotion of guilt and regret. In previewing the future, it stirs the emotion of doubt and anxiety.

A person in the zone, focuses on the present, which completely removes all the negative emotions that arise from contemplating the past or the future.

There are two formulas for getting into the zone.

In the first formula, you do the following:

1. Notice what is happening right now.
2. Weigh all your options (also called the magic of the third option).
3. Learn from your experiences.
4. See what is different.

In the second formula, you do the following:

1. You perform a centering ritual. For example, a basketball player may bounce the ball three times before shooting for the net.
2. You perform a mental rehearsal. The basketball player envisions the ball arcing and flying into the center of the hoop.
3. You optimize. Turn up the volume, so to speak. Releasing the ball into the air.
4. Finally, you capitalize on what you did well. Say a loud "yes" with a clenched fist as the ball slides perfectly into the hoop. This reinforces the subconscious.

Getting into the zone is possible. But it is a skill more than just luck. And like any skill, you have to practice to get good at it.

Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas His book Never Ever Give Up tells you how. It is offered at no cost as a way to help YOU succeed. The Empowered Soul

Strategies Of The Most Successful People In The World

By alvin donovan

"People are strategies waiting to be discovered."
Definition: Strategies are the particular sequence of internal and external representations that lead to a specific outcome. Human experience is an endless series of representations. To deal with this endless sequence it is useful to punctuate it in terms of outcomes.

Some major categories of strategies are excellence, decision, learning, motivation, buying and convincer.

The key to all successful persuasion is being able to "aim" or "sequence" your message at the person you are persuading in such a way that they can not say no because it is what they are already doing all of the time.

People have a naturally developed "sales/persuasion" resistance. So, your job is to elegantly present whatever you say in a way that blows right by any resistance.

In fact, it makes the person salivate to hear more and take action on what you say because it is how they normally do it all the time.

After all who normally likes to say no to themselves?
You must learn to think, talk and write in terms of process not content, to immediately become successful in persuasion.

Think of it this way, process is the direction and content is the method of travel. Obviously, if you spend all of your time concentrating on your method of travel, you will not get very far.

Questions like, "What caused..." and "How did you decide to..." will get you process information. The best ways to uncover process oriented information is to listen for it with your ears and look for it with your eyes as the person you are persuading talks. They give it to you left and right.

In fact, they cannot not give you their strategies because it is what they are doing all of the time. With practice, persons strategies will be as obvious to you as their name, clothes they are wearing etc.

General strategy elicitation and employment:
1.Determine outcome
2.See, hear, feel, make sense a movie doing it perfectly and step into it.
3.Put yourself in the optimum physiology, attitude and intention for excellence.
4.Establish rapport.
5.Check wiring.
6.Ask basic questions: "How do you decide, know etc. What happens first?"
7. Use all accessing cues: Look with your eyes and listen with your ears.
8. Calibrate.
9. Backtrack to get the next step.
10. Make sure you get a logical sequence.
11. Make sure you have all the key functional pieces.
12. Beware of your own bias toward your own strategies.
13. Elicit major representational modalities until complete.
14. Unpack criteria lists
15. Elicit and do not install: More than one option, use contrast, counter example.
16. Feedback the sequence wrong and calibrate. Take a picture.
17. Feedback the sequence right and calibrate. Take a picture.
18. Cycle for intensity and keep going for the right picture until you readily truly achieve your outcome.

Convincer strategy elicitation and employment- It is the process one goes through in their mind in order to become convinced. Once I know it and use the process and fill it in with my product or service they will buy.

Here is how it works
a) Ask "How do you know when X? i.e. How do you know when an investment is one that you will buy (sell)? What is the procedure you (or the investment committee) goes through from start to finish?

You will get one of five answers
i) see
ii) hear
iii) read about
iv) Do or feel
v) Criteria lists

Then ask
b) How many times do you need to X to convince yourself?

You will get one of four answers
i) Number of times
ii) Length of time
iii) Automatic response- right away.
iv) Consistent response- each time.

Now you- Cycle through and do it wrong, calibrate. Take a picture. Cycle through and do it right, calibrate. Take a picture. Let the correct cycle be your first PPP and keep cycling for intensity until you achieve your outcome.

Personal training tip
Instant decision to agree (buy):
Ask "When have you looked at something and knew it was absolutely right for you, it was the perfect thing for you and you have been right through the years?"

Watch where they focus their eyes and present your product at that good
convincer spot.

Hint- you might need to ask
"What was it?"

Criteria List
Without unpacking and using a persons criteria, you will never succeed in your persuasion efforts. You will discover the persons criteria in the "criteria list" step of their strategy.

Using this information will allow you to "customize" everything you say so that it has the maximal effect on that person-right then.

The reason is that the criteria list is what we use to "test" if something is a good decision or not.

Here is how to do it now:
The question to ask to elicit criteria list is:
"What is important about (here fill in the context) for you?"

EXAMPLE:
1. What is important about investments to you?
2. What is important about improving your influence skills?
3. What is important about a X you will buy?

Criteria-It is what a person uses to decide if something is good/bad etc. As he cycles through his decision process, his criteria must be met for him to make a yes decision. It is what drives a person to take action or to avoid it.

The more closely your product or service matches the person criteria that you are persuading, the more impact you will have.

For influencing purposes, the more you refer to their criteria list and link it to your product, service or proposal, the more impact you will immediately have.

Criteria, properly used, can eliminate any objection.
However, you do not stop there. Once you get the answer to the question, above, you then ask it repeatedly until you get a "hierarchy" or Criteria List of value information that will absolutely stun you as to its effectiveness.

Then, cycle through once and do it wrong, calibrate. Take a picture. Cycle through once and do it right, calibrate. Take a picture. Let the correct cycle be your first PPP keep cycling for intensity until you achieve your outcome.

Fill in the blanks with your criteria for learning this information.

The function of criteria- All criteria serves to move a person towards an objective or away from a problem. This is called, for simplicity the Towards/Away pattern. This is the basis for all motivation.

Toward- Words like: Attain, Achieve, Goals, Include; Accomplish, Solutions are what you will hear when a persons criteria is moving them toward.

Away from- Words like: Avoid, Get Away From, Evade, Exclude, are what you will hear when a persons criteria is moving them away from.

The question to ask to determine move toward/away is:

"What will having (name their criteria) do for you?"

Examples of move toward answers:
1. Q. What will having a passive income do for you?
A. It will enable me to buy more of what I want.

2. Q. What will having high quality do for you?
A. It makes me feel good knowing that I can afford the best.

3. Q. What will having superior influence skills do for you?
A. It makes accomplishing all my goals easier and faster.

Examples of move away answers:
1. Q. What will having a passive income do for you?
A. It makes sure I won't have to work when I get older.

2. Q. What will having high quality do for you?
A. It guarantees me that what I buy won't break down.

3. Q. What will having superior influence skills do for you?
A. If I have superior influence skills, I won't get told no as often.

Now, cycle through one time to calibrate that you have it. Take a picture. Let the cycle be your first PPP to link the criteria to your product and keep cycling for intensity until you achieve your outcomes.

Alvin Donovan, founder of the investment bank www.KiwiGrowthPartners.com, is the co author of Make More Money NOW and has also been a consultant/faculty member for several of the world's largest management institutes.

To Self Improve You Must Flow Like Water

By Robin OBrien

Water is found in all living things but it is never contained. Somehow, somewhere it will escape and flow where it wants. To find true happiness you must allow your mind to escape and flow like water.

It was once thought that all life on earth needed 3 things: light, warmth and water, but today scientists have found living organisms deep within caves that never receive light and even bacteria buried deep in the sub-zero ice caps of Antarctica. Life doesnt need light or warmth but one thing is now known to be essential: water.

Water cannot be contained. Sooner or later it escapes and travels on a journey of its own inclination. A river flows, not in a fixed route, rather it follows the contour of the land and, if the landscape changes, the river changes course. The river follows the easiest route, the path of least resistance. Its course may change many times, it may even reach an impasse and form a lake, but eventually it finds its journeys end: the sea. Even man-made waterways, such as canals, dont contain or control water. Glass contains water but cannot keep it. If you ever look at a truly old piece of glass you can see that it has lost its smoothness: you can observe that the surface has what appears to be ripples, like ripples on a pond. The ripples always follow one direction: downward, towards gravity. A pane of glass will actually form a droplet of glass that eventually drips; it just takes a couple of thousand years to do so.

Your journey of self-improvement, to be successful, must be like that of a river. The yearning to improve your inner self is the spring from where your wide river of self-fulfilment will come.

Along the way your journey will take many turns. Youll encounter what seem to be insurmountable obstacles that loom like mountains, but like water youll find the valley or canyon to flow around the obstacles. At times the river will disappear, deep underground. Youll lose sight of it, perhaps for a long time. But, it must resurface eventually, as all rivers do before they reach journeys end.

Your journey will not always be a smooth one. Youll encounter rapids and you may even have to take enormous leaps of faith before tumbling down to where you want to be: but like a waterfall, when you reach the next step along the journey your power and energy will be many fold. You will also experience many stagnant pools along that path where the flow of the river is almost imperceptible. But flow the river does and it will flow freely and cleanly.

The journey will be a rewarding one. Your spring, that tiny step toward self-fulfilment, will turn into a river, perhaps even a great, mighty and wide one. And you wont be alone. A river is not a single entity; rather it is formed by a meeting of many springs: a meeting of minds. Your journeys end will be a confluence of water.

Dont try to constrain your river of self-development. Dont build canals to take the river where you think it should go, or aqueducts to take you over obstacles. Let the river of you journey find its own route. Can the greatest man-made canal ever compare to any river. A river moves, changes, adapts and grows bigger. The water in a canal moves slowly, the course it follows never changes, and it never will grow bigger or wider. Do you want your journey to be that of a canal or a river?

A river follows the path of least resistance. This isnt laziness: it is just expending energy where it is really needed. Your journey must explore every field, valley and wood. Dont expend energy on getting to your destination; spend your energy on exploring the world around you. All rivers eventually flow out to the sea. They all reach journeys end and you will too.

Robin O'Brien is a successfully webmaster and founder of http://www.selfimprovementtechniques.comwhere he provides help and support. You can find more self improvement tips on his site.

Create Your Own Luck And You Will Never Fail

By Jaz Lai

Why is it that some people succeed at things while others fail? Is there such a thing as creating your own luck?

The answer is quite simple, those who succeed chose to 'do something' and do it now rather than later.

For example, imagine that 100 people read the exact same book that I did. I benefited from what was written and implemented the information in it to my advantage. Yet the other 100 people managed to come up with 100 different reasons why the book either wouldn't work for them or how it didn't fit their situation. The point being, everyone has choices available to him or her. They can choose to make money or choose to make excuses, its really as simple as that! People who make excuses just leave more opportunities open to those of us who do want to succeed. Those who don't sit idly by and use golden opportunities to their best advantage all have one thing in common, they just got started and don't make excuses about why they can't!

There are thousands of reasons why you can't make a start today. The timing may not be right or you may be too busy today to make a start. Most people who do succeed are usually at the busiest time of their lives, so the real question here is, are you too busy to make money? Or maybe your computer is too slow or needs updating? Possibly the software you are using isn't right to start your internet business? People like that keep telling themselves "once I get this new software or computer then I'll start.... " and go along on their merry way looking for even more plans. All the while they are waiting, they are letting golden opportunities pass them by. These people are never going to make money with that attitude because the time will never be right. So once again the real question here is when is the right time to start making money?

Others wait until every one around them is making money from working hard on a realistic plan, then call them 'lucky'? There is no such thing as being 'lucky' in this situation. We all make our own luck by taking an opportunity with both hands and 'doing something' with it! How many books have you read this year? How many ideas have you implemented from your newfound knowledge? Be truthful now! If you buy a book, make it your goal to implement at least one idea you have found.

Take some responsibility for yourself. If you don't 'do something' nobody will jump up and do it for you. By being responsible for your own success, you will find that your goals and ambitions aren't really that far from you. Ask someone who is successful and they will tell you the same thing because it's true. If you are having trouble being successful, be aware that you have the tools and opportunities. All that you need is to 'do something' about it. Create your own luck.

Jaz Lai is an Internet Business Expert where he created $10,045 sales just by sending out 5 emails without any list or product. Further recommended resources, Click here www.onlineearningmakeeasy.com/free-report

The Mind Set Of Success - In The Beginning, There Was A Thought

By Richard Kimball

Thoughts are the starting point to all that we do, both good and bad, either success or failure. People underestimate the power of thought. Thoughts are things. They are energy. Every thought leaves its trace upon our minds.

What we let into our minds and hold onto governs what our circumstances and our actions are.

Each individual has the seeds of success within him. The seeds of success are the thoughts that they carry around with them. We are all the product of our own thinking and beliefs.

"Every thought seed sown or allowed to fall into the mind, and take root there, produces its own, blossoming sooner or later into act, and bearing its own fruitage of opportunity and circumstances."

James Allen As a Man Thinketh

Sustained mind control is one of the most difficult endeavors one may undertake but it is also one of the most rewarding.

Create and control your thoughts and you can become what you want to become. A person can live the way they want to live when they learn to think what they want to think.

You are what you think about most of the time. A person who is seeking success and a higher life, strives to keep their mind on the positive and the constructive. We gradually grow into what we are holding in our minds.

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. And with our thoughts, we make our world.

Buddha

If you want to make positive changes in your life, you need to begin with what is in your mind. Our thoughts are the tools with which we build our lives.

The key is to keep your mind on the big picture and the goals leading to it. Think only of what you want, not on what you dont want.

Replace negative thinking, unproductive worrying, and thoughts of fear with positive, imaginative, and constructive thinking.

Your life is controlled by your thoughts. Your thoughts are controlled by your goals.

Earl Nightingale

A great way to keep your mind on what you want is to carry a goal card with you. The goal card lists the top goals you are working on. Just thinking of your goal, particularly, the end result, keeps your mind productive and under your control.

Keeping your mind busy with productive matters will prevent negative thoughts from creeping in.

If you fail to control your own mind, you may be sure you will control nothing else.

Napoleon Hill

Mind control is a result of self-discipline and habit. You either control your mind or it controls you.

Napoleon Hill

A controlled, focused mind pays attention to thoughts, words, actions, and plans. A person who lets their mind wander aimlessly around will never achieve lasting success.

Hold your ideal in your mind until it becomes a mental habit. Focus on it to the exclusion of all other things until it becomes a reality.

Slowly but surely, sustained positive thinking creates an irresistible momentum. People begin to notice a change in you. More opportunities come your way. You feel more confident. Gradually your outer environment begins to grow in the likeness of your inner environment.

Richard Kimball is a successful entrepreneur, artist, and teacher. His latest project is to share the universal principles of success so that others can achieve prosperity and the fulfillment of their dreams.Website: Building A Successful Life

Personal and Professional Development

By Kevin Christopher

Personal and professional development is an area in which everyone needs to improve.
The most successful people continually strive to improve themselves. Personal and
professional development carries over in each aspect of your life. There are personal
skills that you may learn that will help you in professional situations. Likewise, there are
professional skills that will help you in personal situations. Anyone who is career
minded and wants to advance in their chosen field or change the field in which they are in
should look carefully into personal and professional development to see how this could
assist them in accomplishing their goals.

Personal and professional development starts with identifying the areas in which you
want to excel but currently are not. Take a long look at where you are now and where
you want to be. This is the first step in personal and professional development. Then,
discuss your goals with your employer. This is a great way to get feedback on areas of
your career. It accomplishes to goals. First, it puts your employer on notice that you
have goals and ambitions and that you are ready and willing to make changes to
accomplish those goals. It also allows you the opportunity to get valuable feedback and
possible assistance from your employer. Perhaps there are classes your boss can
recommend and ways that you can improve. This insight can be invaluable to your
personal and professional development.

Find ways to accomplish your personal and professional development. This is a great
time to look into classes that will help you advance in your career. Management courses,
motivational classes and practical advancement classes will all help you in your
professional career and you will also learn valuable tools that will transcend your
professional life and help you with your personal life as well. Personal and professional
development is a continuing process. Regularly evaluate where you are and where you
want to be and make an effort to get there by setting short term goals.

Parenting classes are a great way to assist in your personal development. However, they
also teach certain skills such as anger management, negotiation and patience that will
help in your professional life, especially in a managerial or supervisory position. Do not
discount the benefits of personal experience that can be translated into the professional
world. Often the skills learned in personal life will help you greatly in your professional.
Personal and professional development goes hand in hand. It is rare to find someone who
has it all together in their home life but is a mess in their professional life or vice versa.
Most people have specific areas that need improvement and you can see the affects of
these deficiencies in both areas of their life.

Seeing personal and professional development in your life will also instill a sense of self
worth and higher self esteem. It will give you the confidence that you need to be able to
ask for that raise or submit your application for a better job. You will begin to see your
life improving professionally, which will often lead to a more stable and worthwhile
home life. People who have a chaotic personal life will often be distracted and edgy at
work. Personal and professional development definitely is related and one area
influences the other quite often.

Kevin Christopher is a member of Success University your online personal development and motivational courses faculty. For access to personal development and motivational courses online visit Success University to continue your learning and development.

Success : A cause and effect

By Dr Phil Hariram

Felix Dennis, the publishing Tycoon reckons that to be rich you need confidence and unshakeable belief. It also helps to have tunnel vision, a thick skin, stamina and a capacity for hard work.

So why is it that there are individuals who from an early age possess these qualities when most others do not? All these qualities or the opposite develop in childhood. Here are some statements I hear. I am useless at sport. I am not artistic. I cannot do that.

The feeling of insecurity so many people carry through life was developed in childhood. Lay the blame at the door of parents who knows little or nothing of child psychology. People who go through life as failures have failure instinct instilled in their minds when they were children. When a child comes into being, it is like a piece of clay placed in the hands of parents to mould as they wish. What that child will be as an adult depends largely on the input of parents. You are fortunate if your parents instilled into you self belief and a positive mental attitude that you are capable of achieving anything you put your mind to.

What about schools? They are great for the intellectual teenagers. The educational system inspires vision that nurtures their natural talents creating the environment to excel. It does not provide the same opportunities for the non-intellectuals. Many do not reach the academic level expected by the school and are deemed failures.

The fact is every individual with failure deeply ingrained in their subconscious mind can change and become the success they always wanted. Ben Sweetland said, A man may plod along for years without accomplishment when sometime unexpectedly a powerful thought will seep into consciousness and a leader is born.

If you believe you are a failure, how will you be successful? Some individuals do not believe they deserve success. Failure has become a habit. Remember the old adage, Habit is a cable. We weave a thread each day and at last we cannot break it. Do not believe this. It is nonsense. Change your belief and change your life.

Some individuals believe in luck. With my luck, it will never happen. Thomas Jefferson said, I am a great believer in luck and the harder I work the more I have of it.

The difference between success and failure is a state of mind. W. Clement Stone with $100 built a personal fortune of $100million. The great man believed in positive mental attitude. He said, There is little difference in people but that little difference makes a big difference. That little difference is attitude. The big difference whether it is positive or negative.

There is no point re-inventing the wheel. Follow the path of the great and successful icons past and present. Thomas Alva Edison never saw failure as an option. In his quest to develop the light bulb, he said, I have not failed. I just found 10,000 ways that did not work.

In the heavyweight arena, a young man burst unto the scene shouting, Im the greatest. Im the greatest. Cassius Clay, now Mohamed Ali was unknown. He had a powerful and positive belief. I'm the greatest was chiselled into his subconscious mind. He not only became the greatest boxer that ever lived but was voted the greatest athlete of the twentieth century. Did he ever have thoughts of failure? I doubt it.

Have belief. Use a positive belief system as the cornerstone to propel you to where you want to be.

Visualise what you want to do or be. Create motivation that stimulates momentum. Then take action. Success will be your. The stronger your belief, the greater will be your success.

Always keep Napolean Hills statement at the forefront of your mind, Anything the mind can conceive and believe the mind can achieve.

Dr. Phil Hariram is a representative of Success University. He started life in Guyana. Overcoming several obstacles, he was accepted into Glasgow University to study Medicine. He had a dream. He made it come true. So can you. www.no1homebasedbusinesssuccess.com

The Ultimate Keys to Success

Copyright 2006 Cedric Licuanan

There are only 4 steps to fulfilling happiness and success.

1) Specialized Education and Knowledge

The first step is to acquire specialized education, knowledge, and training in the field that you intend to succeed.

LEARN TO SUCCEED.

In other words, you must LEARN first, in order to SUCCEED next. Your mind and knowledge must ALWAYS grow upwards. Once we stop learning, we die mentally.

Someone tells you to build a house. So what do you do? Where do you start? The mentality of an unsuccessful person might cause them to respond, 'I can't build a house, I've never done it before, and I don't know how.'

However, the mentality of a successful person will cause them to respond, 'How can I build this house? Although I've never done it before, where can I start learning how?'

It all boils down to an extremely powerful 3-word question:

'HOW CAN I?'

Basically, a successful person will find a way to 'Figure it out.' He or she will do what it takes to acquire the specialized education and knowledge used in the house building and construction industry, and figure out, 'How can I?'

The successful person will also leverage his or her time by tapping into the knowledge of other successful people in the industry, hopefully experts in the house construction field. They say, 'No man is an island', or 'Two heads are better than one.'

As the successful person works on acquiring the assistance of other successful people, the otherwise daunting task of building and constructing a house is well on its way, while the unsuccessful person didn't even get the task off the ground.

Quite a difference that three-word question makes, doesn't it?

Not 'I CAN'T!', but instead 'HOW CAN I?'

'Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.' - Malcolm Forbes

2) Specific Goals

The second step is to commit to specific, attainable, time-bound goals. As soon as you commit to your goals, it is important to simply share your goals with a supportive loved one.

Everybody talks about goals, and goal setting. There is an incredible amount of material on the purpose and reasoning for setting goals. There is just a tremendous amount of information available about goals, but the most important ideas that stand are as follows:

'SMART'

Specific: Your goals must not be too general, and broad. Make your goals laser targeted and targeted.

Measurable: Your goals should be able to be benchmarked and calculated.

Attainable: Your goals should be obtainable and achievable within reason.

Reasonable: Your goals should be appropriate and consistent with the future that you have planned.

Time-Bound: Your goals should have a deadline - not just 'whenever I feel like it'.

You MUST have a burning desire in order to successfully attain your goals. Too many people have shortchanged themselves and their lives by setting goals for themselves, and not following through with those goals. That 'burning desire' does not seem to exist for certain goals that we set in our lives, heck I'm guilty of that same sin! However, with a strong burning desire, anybody could accomplish any goal that they set their mind's to.

No more excuses! 'If it has to be, it is up to me'. You have to take ownership and responsibility for your life. You have to stop the Blame Game.

The two main obstacles to setting goals is your personal Fear and Doubt. You may fear that you may fail, and therefore doubt that you could overcome these obstacles towards success.

F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real. Doubt is the EXACT opposite of faith.

Avoid these 2 obstacles AT ALL COSTS!

Write down your Goals on Paper! 'I will.....' Always have your SMACT goals written down, easily viewable every single day. Review them first thing in the morning, during the day, and finally right before you go to bed.

Review your goals daily!

'Repetition is the Mother of Skill'. The repetition that gets accomplished when you focus on your goals every single day is incredibly powerful.

Use Visualization!

Always close your eyes and picture yourself actually achieving your goals. Picture the reward that you will receive as well as do everything that you can to pretend to 'feel' that incredible sense of accomplishment. Try to mentally connect that feeling with a sense of accomplishment of the past.

'What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.' -Zig Ziglar

'You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be.' -Mark Victor Hansen

3) Focused Persistent Planned Action

The third step is to set up an action plan with FOCUSED PERSISTENT ACTION towards your goals. 'Plan your work, and then work your plan'. Start out with baby steps at first, then work your way up to large strides. Everyone starts somewhere!

The single most characteristic that is DIRECTLY related to success is Persistence. The ability to continue moving forward regardless of the obstacles placed in front of you is the essence of the characteristic of Persistence.

Every person has a limit to how much resistance they could handle before giving up, and the main difference between the successful and the unsuccessful is the amount of resistance that a person is willing to endure.

If Persistence is the number one action taken towards extreme success, the unfortunate action of giving up too quickly is the number one reason for dramatic failure. For example, imagine yourself taking part in a long-distance run in your city. At the very first sign of fatigue, you have 2 simple decisions: 1) You give up and stop now 2) You persist and continue forward.

If you chose the first decision.....well, there's not much to be said about this first decision. If you did not finish the race, then unfortunately you have to chalk this one up as a failure.

However, if you chose the second decision, your chances for success just dramatically increased.

MA=MR MASSIVE ACTION = MASSIVE RESULTS

'The race goes not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.' -Anonymous

'Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.' -Dale Carnegie

'Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.' -Thomas Alva Edison

4) Excellence

The final step is to do what you do extremely WELL. If you are going invest the time and effort taking action towards your goals, you might as well try to be good at what you do. Heck, why not become an expert at it also? When a person stands out in the crowd as well-known 'expert', AMAZING things happen in their lives!

Being able to excel at something is usually due to either progressive repetition, or pure talent.

When a person starts to succeeding in business, she notices that if all she did was focus on the characteristic of Excellence, she would succeed indefinitely.

Whenever she found herself having some down time: Waiting in line, waiting for the movie to start, commercial breaks on TV, etc. She would simply take out my wallet and read this document. This tiny act would literally take only 20 seconds, but it helped her TREMENDOUSLY. When your brain and mind gets exposed to positive messages repetitively, eventually the message sinks in. You want to have this 'Excellence Mindset' in all that you do. You want to be able to be able to excel and succeed in all the tasks of a successful person.

Become an Expert It is VERY important to 'become the Expert' in your particular industry. You want to be able set up a reputation for yourself as the 'go to' person. In other words, other people in your chosen industry always seem to turn to you with their questions and concerns, etc.

'Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise; risking more than others think is safe. Dreaming more than others think is practical and expecting more than others think is possible.' -Anonymous

'Excellence is never an accident: it is the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction, skillful execution and the vision to see obstacles as opportunities.' -Unkown

'Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better.' -Pat Riley

In Summary, 1) Do everything you can to attain the specialized education and knowledge in your field 2) Set specific goals and timelines 3) Put your goals and plans into PERSISTENT ACTION and finally 4) Do what you can to EXCEL in your activities!

Utilize the 4 Ultimate Keys to Success in ALL your endeavors, and get ready for an incredible ride in the months and years ahead!

Cedric Licuanan is a thriving Chicago-Based Internet Marketer. He has focused on helping people achieve what they want out of life and currently maintains several success-driven websites. Learn How to Drive Massive Amounts of Targeted Traffic to Your Website! http://www.dynamiconlinesuccess.com/ http://www.dynamicwealthnow.net/

Yes, You Can Achieve Your Impossible Dream

By Jim DeSantis

Achieving a level of success, a level we can be comfortable with personally, varies with expectations and goals.

Often we compare our level of success with that of someone we admire or, in fact, someone we envy. We want what they have. We want to be where they are in life. We want it NOW!

This desire is what fuels public fascination with celebrities. They seem to live the abundant life of fame and fortune. What is not seen is their struggles to get there and stay there.

Someone once said - "Overnight success takes about 15 years." It might not take you that long depending upon the level of success you are trying to achieve and how many obstacles you must overcome. My own story is a case in point.

I was a factory worker when a chance meeting opened a door that would change my life. But, like any success story, I had to go through the door and be prepared to work towards success. I had to overcome many obstacles, many put there by others in broadcasting because I did not follow the traditional path they chose to follow. I appeared to be an overnight success, success handed to me on a silver platter.

My co-workers in the factory laughed at me, yet, within 9 months I was on Radio as a News Anchor/Reporter. Within two years I was a Television News Anchor. Within three years I was News Director/Anchor and I have won numerous journalism and community awards. I have interviewed the famous and the infamous. Not bad for a kid from the "across the tracks". Actually, the tracks were right across the street, fronting a steel mill, and the fence to a plastics plant was three feet from our side door.

I'll never forget the owner of the corner store. He told me - "you're a little bum...you're gonna end up in jail". He was still alive to see me Anchor the local TV News. Sweet.

My success was hard work but it was fun at the same time. How did I do it?

First, I was too dumb to figure out why I couldn't have my dream come true.

Second, I ignored negative people and focused on positive role models in books, in movies, and in my community.

If you want to be successful in a certain field, copy someone who is already successful in that field. Find out what they know and do it, without question.

Become too dumb to figure out why it won't work.

I copied Walter Cronkite and, years later, I would sit and talk with him, professional journalist-to-professional journalist, twice. Sweet.

Enough about me. Take a look at this young man:

Failed in Business - Bankruptcy.

Defeated for Legislature one year later.

Sweetheart/Fiancee Dies three years later.

Nervous Breakdown one year later.

Defeated in Election in the same year.

Defeated for U.S. Congress seven years later.

Defeated again for U.S. Congress three years later.

Defeated once again for U.S. Congress two years later.

Defeated for U.S. Senate seven years later.

Defeated for U.S. Vice President one year later.

Defeated again for U.S. Senate two years later.

After 29 years of obstacles he was elected President of the United States.

These were the struggles of President Abraham Lincoln!

If you had been faced with that many obstacles, would you have quit somewhere along the way?

In your own journey towards success, are you ready to quit because someone has convinced you that you can't do it?

Have you ever quit because someone convinced you that you were nuts?

Has anyone ridiculed your efforts, laughed at you, told you that youll never amount to anything?

Remember Abraham Lincoln and keep at it!

I did. You can too.

Jim DeSantis runs On Line Tribune Self Help Newspaper packed with Free articles, courses, and ebooks on a variety of topics. You are invited to submit your opinion on this or on any other topic to Jim's blog. If accepted, your opinion will be published as a Featured Article.

Make Success Your Priority

By Audrey Burton

Overwhelm, distractions and the inability to say NO keep many people from achieving their potential. Too many opportunities paralyzes your ability to make the right decisions; Email prevents focus. Guilt and 'shoulds' keep us busy with activities that fill our days, but do not get us closer to success!

We are not machines, so these things will happen. The key is to prioritize what you will allow to use your time. What is most important to you?

We read stories in Oprah's magazine and see on TV all these women who start multi-million dollar businesses while raising their 4 kids and their sister's 3 kids and all while volunteering at the school. Don't be fooled! You do not have the same life nor the same opportunities.

Here is what we don't see - her mom helps take care of the kids and cooks and cleans, her husband fronted the money, she didn't get more than 3 hours of sleep a night for 6 years, or her kids are completely out of control. Her priorities are not the same as yours and mine. Avoid comparing yourself to others - it is a dangerous trap, and you never know all the facts!

What are your priorities?

For me, raising my two girls as a single/only parent to be responsible, caring, contributing adults is my top priority. A distant second, is growing my business to a place where I work less and make more, and have lots of money for my retirement. Without raising my kids the way I want, it wouldn't matter how much money I had, I would be miserable. Besides, they will grow up and I will have a shift in my priorities then.

Setting your priorities is a very personal process. The big things are fairly easy; it's the every day stuff that becomes challenging. For example, I see many people who get asked to volunteer and say yes again and again, even though they know it delays the achievement of their goals. The little voice in their heads says, "Don't do it this time!", but they find themselves saying yes.

One of the hidden reasons behind this sometimes is that she wants to have a good excuse for not achieving her goals. "I've been so busy at the school/the networking group/the chamber of commerce, that I just couldn't build my business the way I wanted!"

Setting priorities is the first step. Put them on paper, then flesh out an action plan to accomplish your goals. For example, if it is your goal to exceed $50,000 in revenues this year, you will need to detail how you plan to do this, and get to work. The money will not fall in your lap, and you're not getting any younger! Once you have put your plan on paper, put it where you can see it and review it regularly.

When a new opportunity presents itself (that will absorb your time), delay your decision for an hour or a day - whatever time you have. Really think strategically - will this get me closer to my success as I have defined it? What will the benefit be and what will it cost in time and money if I say yes?

If you aren't making money right now, that needs to be your priority over long-term gains. You do need to keep longer term goals in mind, but don't find yourself spending all your resources on future gains - future gains won't pay the electric bill! Analyze opportunities as they present themselves:
1. How will this benefit me and my family in the short term?
2. Long term?
3. What will this cost me in the short and long terms?
4. What is that little voice in my head telling me?

Sometimes, you have to do the 'right thing'. If you are in debt and not taking care of yourself and your family properly, buck up and get a job. Pay off the debt and save your money so you can try starting your business later without being desperate.

Trust your inner wisdom, but at the same time, ask your 'trusted advisors'. Keep in mind that some of your advisors have their own agendas, and have a vested interest in the result.

Bottom Line: Having specific, written priorities keeps you focused on your plan, and helps you say NO when you need to!

Audrey Burton is a practical Small Business Coach. She eliminates business/marketing overwhelm and gets you excited to work on your business again! To sign up for her free, monthly email newsletter, visit her site: www.TigressCoaching.com