Don't Be A Perfectionist

Dont Be A Perfectionist
by Allison Whitehead

We all want to be successful in our chosen career, especially if this involves a business we have set up ourselves.

Working for yourself can easily mean an increased workload the word delegation is not part of your vocabulary if you are self-employed and on your own. It is natural, therefore, to push yourself to (and beyond) the limits to satisfy your customers, meet new orders and get each job finished on time and to the highest standard.

However, there is a big difference between wanting to succeed and do well in business, and becoming obsessed with total perfection. Nobody likes to fail, but when a healthy dislike of failure becomes an all-consuming fear, you and your business are likely to suffer as a result.

Due to these perfectionist tendencies, there are many people who are not as successful in business as they might otherwise be and it is all due to their frame of mind.

So how can you avoid becoming a perfectionist?

One of the most important things to remember is how to spot the early signs which could mean you are setting your sights much too high for anyone to reach.

Allow me to give you a personal example. When I first started to write, I used to get very depressed and self critical when a piece of work was rejected. I felt as if the rejection was a personal one as if the person who returned my work had actually told me I wasnt good enough, rather than just my work. Sometimes it would be weeks before I could pick up a pen again, so strong was the fear of failure.

Eventually I came to realise I was failing myself. Nobody likes to be rejected in work or otherwise yet continually playing safe leads to a stagnant life and dwindling opportunities for success and advancement.

Once I had found new determination, I began to see my rejections as part of the learning process, rather than seeing them as failures. They were part of the journey towards my goal of being published regularly, and as such were hugely important. In time, acceptances began to outnumber rejections, and I became more confident in my work. I had changed my focus, and as soon as I stopped being hard on myself and focused on my end goal, rather than on each stumble I made along the way, I got better at what I was doing. My frame of mind changed when I stopped trying to attain perfection, and I started to analyse my rejections to improve my work the next time round.

Some people have perfectionist tendencies in them by nature, yet they can easily develop in any of us. This is especially true if you are in the early stages of setting up your own business. In this situation, it is quite likely that you will have invested money in your new venture. You will want to make sure your money works for you in establishing your own business.

It makes sense to want to produce the best work possible, yet you should always be aware of when to stop. This is the essential difference between the person who achieves success and the person who does not.

Lets say, for example, that you are in the business of making furniture. In that case, you could have a checklist of all the points and stages which need to be fulfilled and completed before the item of furniture can be considered finished.

Once you have ticked off every item, the work is finished. Full stop. No arguing. You have to be firm with yourself.

The person who is always obsessed with trying to attain that unattainable point of perfection will continue with every job they work on, thinking that if they could spend just a little bit longer on this part or that part, they would improve the work still further. Rejection and failure lead to fewer results, fewer earnings, and missed deadlines spelling disaster for the business in question.

By breaking down a job into manageable portions, you can help to avoid what may otherwise be a daunting task. When you tackle a large project in several bite sized portions, you will be much less likely to slip into the role of the perfectionist.

This method of tackling the onset of perfectionism will also build your confidence, no matter whether your business has just started out, or has been up and running for several years. When you are able to satisfy your customers with a job well done, you will be able to say to yourself, Hey, I did a good job there. I know Im capable of doing that again. Maybe I will try branching out into another area to see how I do

And you will be setting more goals for yourself, broken down into stages, to keep your creativity and enthusiasm fresh without veering towards perfectionism in everything you do.

The successful person has more confidence in their own ability to get the job done adequately. The perfectionist, with their need to get everything done just right (and with their eye on the perfect end product, rather than breaking the job down into realistic and manageable stages), never finishes the job at all.

So what happens when things do go wrong?

Well, it doesnt mean you are a failure. We all make errors now and then and yes, sometimes they are whoppers. It can be easy to become lax in your work if you have had a good streak of success. And to prove it can happen to the best of us, I shall admit to a personal catastrophe which taught me a well earned lesson.

A few years ago, I was enjoying a particularly good run of acceptances in my work. I was breaking into many new markets and making connections which I was sure I could capitalise on, if I worked at it.

Still happy with my successes, I set about writing an article for a market which I had been contributing successfully to for quite some time. I dashed something off and sent it out the next day, still wallowing in my run of successes. It was one of those days where nothing can go wrong, no matter what you do.

But it did. My effort was (deservedly) returned with a rejection slip, and I realised how easy it can be to let your efforts slide.

Fortunately, I learned my lesson from this error. This is another important difference between the perfectionist and the person who simply wants to do their best.

The way to avoid looking on every error as a major disaster is to analyse what went wrong, and why it happened. Once you know the answers to these questions, you will be able to make sure the errors never occur again.

In this way it is possible to turn every bad event into a positive one, by discovering what can be learned from it in order to do better in the future.

There comes a time when you have to finish a piece and move on to something new. If you are one of those people who find this hard to do, you could be asking too much of yourself. Know when to let go, and your success rate will improve.

If you recognise yourself as a perfectionist, write the following proverb on a piece of paper and tack it above your desk: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

It worked for me, and it can work for you too.

About the author:

Allison Whitehead has written and published many articles on positive thinking, goal setting, and personal improvement issues. Her latest book, The 5 Secrets of Successful Goal Setting, is now available. Download your FREE PDF preview from www.lulu.com/content/301705

Be A Visionary Thinker And Not An Idle Dreamer

Self motivation is something many of us find hard. We know what we want but we just can't seem to get motivated to do anything about getting it. But, if you're going to get to where you want to get to, you need to be a visionary thinker and not an idle dreamer.

Too many people dream of the life they want but are unable to be any plan of action into getting that life. We all dream. Dreaming is the easy part. But how to change a dream into a vision - a vision that will propel us in to that life?

Many successful people have the ability to role-play the life they want. They may not be where they want to be, but that doesn't stop them from acting out the life they want; the life they know, one day, they'll have. The ability to do this is important. Many of us are rational thinkers, and know that we could make every aspect of our 'dreams' come true, but we take absolutely no action towards making any of them likely to happen.

We can all learn a lesson from watching children. All children learn about themselves and the life they're going to live through play. They simply play at being the person they want to be; a doctor, a teacher, a scientist, a mother. They use props around them to act out the life they going to have. They will show everyone one around them, the husband they going to marry, the car they're going to have, the new worlds they'll be the first to discover. I'm not suggesting that we all revert to playing like children, however role playing and vocalising our future will helps us. But why does acting out our dreams make an impact on our motivation?

Firstly, it helps us to feel some of the pleasure and enjoyment which the realization of our dreams will bring. It has been shown, time and again, that we are much more likely to achieve goals which trigger strong emotions in us.

Secondly, role playing implants unforgettably inspiring, vivid images in our subconscious. Even imaginary seeing is believing.

By expressing your vision, you turn your daydreaming of mixed up, meandering and unconnected images into lifelike, linked and solid visions. Your visions will be lifelike, linked and consistent; more like a believable documentary than a whimsical fairytale. The more you believe in your goals the more likely they are achieved. You can use the picture power of your imagination to fix a vivid, detailed, inspiring image of your desired future in your subconscious mind.

We can also use our visionary thinking from the past to help motivate us for the future. We can use the wisdom we have gained from our life and re-apply and re-kindle the dreams of our childhood and youth. Don't be afraid to recollect those grandiose dreams. By honestly re-experiencing the dreams and aspirations of our earlier life, we can confirm that those dreams of yesteryear are, at heart, the dreams we carry in our heart today. But now we can use our experience to find an acceptable compromise.

Robin O'Brien is founder of a website and who is pursuing a journey inner self discovery. You can visit his site to read many more self improvement articles.

Whatever

Whatever We Learnt, Let Us Offer That knowledge

Whatever We Have, Let Us Willingly Give

Whatever We Dream, Let Our Dream Inspire Others

And Bring Them New Courage To Help Their Dreams Live

Whatever We Gain, Let Us Always Be Ready To Share

The True Joy That We Find On The Way ...

For Success Is Not Measured By How Much We Won,

But By How Much We Lovingly Give, Day By Day

***LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST***

a message reflected by the universe

7th august 2007

7:27pm

Some Food for Thought

By Angie Hembree

I've been working from home for almost 8 years. I've done various things. For the last two years I have worked with a company that has a great team. We all work together to make our dreams come true. What a great concept.....helping each other. You don't see that alot at a j.o.b. or any other home business. That's what makes us different from anyone else.

We have a magazine that the company sends every month. As I was reading this month's magazine I was moved by the inspiration from our teammates and business owners. So I wanted to pass along their words of wisdom. These can be used in life, business and family.

CHARACTER: "Leadership is the capacity and will to rally men and women to a common purpose and the character which inspires confidence." B. Montgomery British Field Marshal

FOCUS: "What people say, what people do, and what they say they do are entirely different things." M. Mead Anthropologist

VISION: "The future belongs to those who see possibilities before they become obvious." J. Sculley, Former CEO of Pepsi and Apple Computer

INITIATIVE: "Success seems to be connected with action.Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." Conrad Hilton, Hotel Executive

COMMUNICATION: "Developing excellent communication skills is absolutely essential to effective leadership. The leader must be able to share knowledge and ideas to transmit a sense of urgency and enthusiasm to others. If a leader can't get a message across clearly and motivate others to act on it, then having a message doesn't even matter." Gilbert Amelio, President and CEO of National Semiconductor Corp.

COMMITMENT: "People do not follow uncommitted leaders. Commitment can be displayed in full range of matters to the work hours you choose to maintain, how you work to improve your abilities, or what you do for your fellow workers and personal sacrifice." Stephen Gregg, Chairman and CEO of Ethix Corp.

COMPETENCE: "Competence goes beyond words. It's the leader's ability to say it, plan on it, and do it in such a way that others know that you know how and know that they want to follow you." John C. Maxwell

SELF DISIPLINE: "The speed of the leader is the speed of your organization." Russ Paley

PASSION: "Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you." Bill Cosby

Now reading those words of wisdom apply them to your life. The Vision of my Passion is what keeps me going. Initiative gives me the strength to make a difference by help others.

I'm a wife and mother of two girls. I've been helping others save and earn money from home. Look over my website at http://www.wahw.infinitepossibilitiesteam.com/

To Self Improve You Must Flow Like Water

By Robin OBrien

Water is found in all living things but it is never contained. Somehow, somewhere it will escape and flow where it wants. To find true happiness you must allow your mind to escape and flow like water.

It was once thought that all life on earth needed 3 things: light, warmth and water, but today scientists have found living organisms deep within caves that never receive light and even bacteria buried deep in the sub-zero ice caps of Antarctica. Life doesnt need light or warmth but one thing is now known to be essential: water.

Water cannot be contained. Sooner or later it escapes and travels on a journey of its own inclination. A river flows, not in a fixed route, rather it follows the contour of the land and, if the landscape changes, the river changes course. The river follows the easiest route, the path of least resistance. Its course may change many times, it may even reach an impasse and form a lake, but eventually it finds its journeys end: the sea. Even man-made waterways, such as canals, dont contain or control water. Glass contains water but cannot keep it. If you ever look at a truly old piece of glass you can see that it has lost its smoothness: you can observe that the surface has what appears to be ripples, like ripples on a pond. The ripples always follow one direction: downward, towards gravity. A pane of glass will actually form a droplet of glass that eventually drips; it just takes a couple of thousand years to do so.

Your journey of self-improvement, to be successful, must be like that of a river. The yearning to improve your inner self is the spring from where your wide river of self-fulfilment will come.

Along the way your journey will take many turns. Youll encounter what seem to be insurmountable obstacles that loom like mountains, but like water youll find the valley or canyon to flow around the obstacles. At times the river will disappear, deep underground. Youll lose sight of it, perhaps for a long time. But, it must resurface eventually, as all rivers do before they reach journeys end.

Your journey will not always be a smooth one. Youll encounter rapids and you may even have to take enormous leaps of faith before tumbling down to where you want to be: but like a waterfall, when you reach the next step along the journey your power and energy will be many fold. You will also experience many stagnant pools along that path where the flow of the river is almost imperceptible. But flow the river does and it will flow freely and cleanly.

The journey will be a rewarding one. Your spring, that tiny step toward self-fulfilment, will turn into a river, perhaps even a great, mighty and wide one. And you wont be alone. A river is not a single entity; rather it is formed by a meeting of many springs: a meeting of minds. Your journeys end will be a confluence of water.

Dont try to constrain your river of self-development. Dont build canals to take the river where you think it should go, or aqueducts to take you over obstacles. Let the river of you journey find its own route. Can the greatest man-made canal ever compare to any river. A river moves, changes, adapts and grows bigger. The water in a canal moves slowly, the course it follows never changes, and it never will grow bigger or wider. Do you want your journey to be that of a canal or a river?

A river follows the path of least resistance. This isnt laziness: it is just expending energy where it is really needed. Your journey must explore every field, valley and wood. Dont expend energy on getting to your destination; spend your energy on exploring the world around you. All rivers eventually flow out to the sea. They all reach journeys end and you will too.

Robin O'Brien is a successfully webmaster and founder of
http://www.%20selfimprovementtechniques.com/where he provides help and support. You can find more self improvement tips on his site.

Thomas Edison

"If we did all the things we were

capable of doing, we would literally

astound ourselves."

Thomas Edison

Jason Lee

I am grateful for all my challenges because of who they make me!

I have culled a bouquet of diverse flowers amongst men's gardens ... and nothing is my own ... save the strings that bindeth them.

Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.(KJV)

Opportunities Missed

There was a very cautious man
Who never laughed or played
He never risked, he never tried
He never sang or prayed
And when he one day passed away
His insurance was denied
For since he never really lived
They claimed he never died

To Each is Given

Isn't it strange that princes and kings,
and clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
and ordinary folk like you and me
are builders of eternity.

To each is given a bag of tools,
an hour glass and a book of rules,
and each must build, e're life is flown,
a stumbling block or a stepping stone.

William James

The great use of Life is to spend it for something that will outlast it!